Giving Facial Massage

Question and Answer with relationship expert Dr Dennis

Hi Dr. Neder,

I am a woman, married 7 years, and was interested in giving my husband a ‘good’ massage. Normally when I try it doesn’t work for one reason or another – it either tickles, is too hard, etc. I decided to look on the Internet for “how to give a massage” when I came across your article. Wow! Finally! Exactly what I was looking for and it did not take long to find. I am not one to read an entire article on the monitor but yours was definitely an exception. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it.

I have a question though, and was pleased to see your note at the bottom of your article saying that you answering all mail. Great!

Now for my question: I got a massage today and the therapist concluded with a facial massage. It put me to sleep. I was wondering if there is something about the technique that induces sleep, and if you know and/or could provide the steps (as you did in your article) to give a facial massage. I would love for my husband to konk out from a massage I give. It would be much better than the normal response of ‘just forget it’. Anyhow, if you do not have this information, that is okay. I just mainly wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your article.

Thank you very much.

Hello!

Thank you so much for your comments on my article. Massage is such a great way to say, “I love you” as it’s purely for your partner.

Beyond the relaxation, there are a number of reasons why people fall asleep during massage. It’s important to understand that the muscles actually create a bunch of chemicals as they do their work – moving bones around. Many of the chemicals are actually toxic! That’s the reason why drinking water is so important following a massage. Further, many of these chemicals can induce a sleepy state in the person being massaged.

Regarding a facial massage; keep in mind that there are “rings” of muscle that surround the eyes and the mouth. Other muscles lie just below and above the cheeks, and around the head. You can get to all of these in slow strokes that start at the corners of the mouth and end at the bottom of the ears, or that start in the middle of the forehead and end above the ears.

You want to use the “flats” of your fingers here – from the tip down to the 2nd knuckle to get the muscular bands. Try to avoid using the fingertips on the face as there are nerves that come out from the bone that are very sensitive to pressure.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the face is highly “vascular” – that is, there is a lot of blood flow in the face. This is one of the reasons why we blush. Because of this, if you spend too much time working a specific area, you can actually cause that area to swell. Swelling should always be considered a bad thing! So, keep moving and don’t focus on any single area.

One other point about pressure: there are three sets of nerves that come out from small holes in the bones of the face toward the middle: right where the eyebrows start (by the bridge of the nose), right under the outside edge of the nostrils and directly below the mouth. Too much direct pressure here causes pain, so avoid these areas.

Also, don’t forget the top of the head, around the back, and the very top of the neck. These places can take very deep pressure with the fingertips – and they feel great!

Good luck, much love…