What is a good confidence made of ? What features are needed ? And, how does a man demonstrate he has a good confidence?
The “core” to a good confidence holds many facets. But, we are first going to speak of one feature which many times goes ignored by men (and it’s something women pick up on immediately!!).
This primary element in the foundation of confidence is TRUST. That’s right, trust.
You have heard me speak about the importance of getting over past relationships and hurts. Well, this is a part of the reason why.
See, to show confidence you need to be secure. Secure in yourself and secure with the woman you are with. And, secure in your dating life or relationship.
However, if you are constantly afraid she will leave you, cheat on you, or lie to you then you will be in this constantly fearful, weak state. Likewise, the comments and “energy” you give off will exemplify that you are afraid, fearful and weak. And, those elements DO NOT describe someone who is confident.
To show that you are “confident”, you have to show “confidence” and “security” in her. You have to show that you are secure enough to trust her!!
Now… in the “background” you can still look for “red flags” or reasons to why you might not be able to trust her (and if that is the case– you shouldn’t be with her). But, if you choose to be with a woman, then you need to be able to fully trust her.
I once had a relationship with a man too soon after he got out of another relationship, where the woman had cheated on him, lied to him and even stole from him. Soon, the reality became painfully obvious… He constantly appeared “weak”. He was constantly afraid I was going to cheat on him. He was constantly afraid I was going to do the exact same things. So, after about two weeks, I told him that I didn’t think we should date.
- He needed to get over past hurts.
- I don’t date men that don’t trust me and are not secure with themselves and with me.
Showing jealousy and insecurity are both signs that you have a low self-image/ self-esteem and overall low confidence. They are sure signs that you are “weak” to a woman !
Moving on…
Another important element in the foundation of confidence is the ability to trust YOURSELF, depend fully on yourself, and live a good life, so that you will be proud of who you are and what you stand for.
If you are constantly questioning yourself, live with regret, or know that you are an untrustworthy cheater, then you will always carry that negative weight with you. That will also make you appear weak and insecure… because you will be!!
The most confident and secure men that I know are not those with loaded bank accounts, fancy cars or high priced houses necessarily. Instead, they are men who live a stable lifestyle, are independent and know they can fully depend on themselves, know what they stand for, and also know that they deserve great things.
It goes along with the saying, “If you can’t trust yourself, you can’t trust anyone else”.
As a woman, if I was to make a list of what comprises a “confident” man, my list would look something like the following:
- Secure with himself
- Able to laugh at himself
- Proud
- Developed sense of self
- Emotionally strong
- Not fearful of the future & happy in the moment
- Not easily intimidated
I do suggest printing out my daily email lessons and organizing them with my Instant Attraction Generator System (which I also suggest you print out), so you can have them for quick reference and review as needed.
Shelley McMurtry
