1. WOMEN WANT TO BE TREATED WELL
The same rules of gentlemanly conduct that apply in life, apply on the Net. Woman want to be treated well. Respect her and you’ll be a winner. Offend her, and you’re out of the game.
2. LOVERS COME AND GO — FRIENDS LAST FOREVER
Although there are some women who are looking for a casual one-net stand, most women want a Cyber-Seduction to grow out of a friendship. If you can create a comfortable & safe place, chances are she’ll want to play more. Even the most sensuous encounters are still all about creating relationships. They may not be permanent, they may not have the deepest emotional intimacy, but the guidelines for good relating apply to Cyber- Love as well.
3. RECOGNIZE THE VARIOUS STAGES OF SEDUCTION
Different rules apply for each stage of seduction . Recognize what stage of the seduction you’re in: First Stage: Making Contact. Second Stage: Flirting and Courtship. Third Stage: Cyber-Seduction. Success comes to the man who recognizes what stage he is in.
4. GETTING TO YES — THE FIRST STAGE OF SEDUCTION
The first stage is making contact and determining if the woman is interested in your attention. At this initial stage most woman are still in the no thank you mode. This is not the best time to start sending her direct, sexual private messages, because she is still in the no stage. Establish a friendly connection first. Make sure she really wants to play before you escalate the game.
Assuming you have determined that she is responding to you, the next step is establishing a connection that is personal to the two of you. The art of the first stage is knowing how to make it personal without making it too personal. It requires sensitivity to know where her boundaries are at each stage.
5. LET THE GAMES BEGIN! THE SECOND STAGE OF SEDUCTION
The best flirtation is like a good game of tennis. Both players return volleys. If she is not responding at your pace, SLOW DOWN. There is no point in trying to `ace’ her at this stage in the game. Be interested in her, who she is, not what she is! Ask questions, but don’t make her feel like she’s the subject of a `60 Minutes’ interview. Never ask questions about her body parts, or her dimensions unless she’s willing to volunteer that level of information. Ask open-ended questions like how do you feel about….? what do you like best about…? — rather than closed questions like Do you like Classical music? Those kind of questions tend to lead to yes or no answers, perhaps bringing the conversation to a halt. Keep the game going. Always respond to her, never let a comment or question go by unanswered. If you don’t have an answer, speak up (softly). Don’t just be silent. Remember, she can’t read your mind. It’s easier to keep the connection going than it is to re-start it.
6. LAY YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE
Be honest! If you don’t look like Mel Gibson, why say you do? You might as well take the risk to find out if she is interested in who you really are. She will be very angry at you if she finds out later you have mislead her ABOUT ANYTHING.
Be truthful about your intentions with her at this stage. If you are not looking for a romance, don’t pretend to be. If you have other important relationships on the net or in life, TELL HER NOW before the situation escalates, otherwise there are bound to be hurt feelings. Ask her the same questions about her love life and intentions. Reveal something about yourself FIRST. THEN ask her to do the same.
In the second stage, Be first to tell her how you feel. In the long run she’ll respect and trust you more for being open and honest.
7. LET HER TAKE THE LEAD
As you move through the levels of the second stage , if possible, let her take the lead toward becoming more intimate. If she initiates deeper levels, you will know that this is what she truly desires, and it will allow her to feel more in control of the situation. If she feels in charge she’s less likely to become afraid of more intensity.
If she is shy, you can still help her feel in control by inviting her rather than taking her down the path of Cyber-Seduction. Ask her: Tell me about what you’re wearing? This is better than asking her, What are you wearing? (if you haven’t reached this level of intimacy yet.)
8. STAGE THREE: HER SENSES MAY BE DIFFERENT FROM YOURS
If you’ve gotten to the cyber-seduction stage three, you may be speaking very directly about sex and sensuality. Remember, all of the above rules still apply, and a few more come into play. First, her sense of choice may be different from yours. You may want her to paint pictures for you. You may ask her to describe what she looks like, what she’s wearing and other visual descriptions. This may do nothing for her. She may want to hear words that turn her on. Or she may want to feel through descriptions of sensations. She may initially prefer one modality, and then another as things heat up. Get to know yourself and your lady and you’ll be able to play her like a fine violin.
Here’s an example of how the different senses can be used. One simple act (escalating the action at a dinner table), can be handled in a multitude of ways:
Visual Sensation: ….I push away the dinner plates and lift you onto the table. I can see from the look in your eyes that you are mine. Your red lips part with longing…
Sound Sensation: ….I can almost hear you purr — I know I can’t wait any longer, “You are mine’ I whisper. Shoving away the dinner plates, I don’t care who hears us now, “You are my most sinful dessert’ I sigh….
Touch Sensation: …I reach under the white linen tablecloth, my hand slides teasingly slowly up your trembling thigh. You let me gently part your legs as your moist heat attracts my fingers like a thousand invisible magnets…
9. A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME…..
….May not smell as sweet. What kind of words does she use to describe body parts or acts of love? Does she like poetic & colorful innuendo, or graphic dirty words and explicit descriptions? One false step in this department can cause weeks of delicate feelings to unravel in a moment. Find out what she likes before you find yourself typing away like a wild man in the heat of action.
Erotic and (porno) graphic are very opposing styles. The different impact of these two approaches is considerable. She may not respond to one, whereas she may be delighted by the other.
Here is an example of an erotic approach:
…my hands find their way to the source of your desire, awakening an almost forgotten longing….
Graphic approach: (….maybe I’ll just let you imagine this one….!)
Don’t assume you know her tastes — ask her. It may sound a little clinical, but that’s where the great lovers are separated from the crowd. Get good at eliciting her love-strategy in a way that is fun, provocative and passionate.
10. BRINGING NET-FANTASIES TO LIFE
If you’ve been having a Cyber Love affair, you may be wondering about taking it to the next level of reality. Assuming that you are both single and available, you may be curious to speak on the phone or even meet in person. WARNING: Are you willing to let go of a fantasy in order to have a real life experience? If the answer is yes, and you are willing to accept any possible outcome, then you know what you need to do next. Call her! If it goes well, get on an airplane!!!
But be honest with yourself. Are you ready to have your life (which you have some control over as long as you are at the keyboard) disrupted? Are you ready, willing and able to face the fact that the goddess you have been imagining and sweet chatting is different from a living, breathing, real woman? Real women have real needs, hopes and dreams. But if you’re ready for reality…
Cyberflirt for Man is contributed by Dan Johnson
