OK, so GET THIS …
I’m reading through some the bazillion emails I get every week, and I come across one of the best emails that I’ve read in a LONG time.
Are you ready for the interesting part ?
It’s from a MARRIED GUY.
Yep, you read that right. He’s married.
He reads the newsletters and uses the things he learns to improve his marriage. Go figure.
Further Readings : 5 Signs He Likes You More Than A Friend
This guy was able to explain in a few paragraphs a concept and technique that I personally use, but have been unable to actually explain and verbalize well.
I wish I would have written what you’re about to read, but I didn’t (But I’m still a cool guy because I wrote what came before and after it).
Check this out …
Conversation Technique
Dave,
I’m still having great success with a rekindled marriage using you’re Tips on my wife. Thanks a million. Listen, I keep reading over and over in the MailBags guys wanting to know how to start, then keep a conversation going with women. I work for a major oil company and have been through many of there training courses on dealing with people.
One particularly interesting course was on “Information Seeking”.
For this we first practiced picking up on “Key words or phrases” the subject said.
For instance, I’ll try and give an example using c&f even though you wouldn’t use this professionally on the job.
Lets say you see this great looking chick on the street and you tell her, “That’s an unusual looking dress you’re wearing. Was that made out of a shower curtain?”
She says,” Your mean! No, I bought this from the Old Navy store.” Key Words: Old Navy. “Oh, so you’re in the Navy, huh?” “No silly.
You know, the big store over at the Mall.” Key word: Mall. “Oh, so you like going to the Mall and buying strange looking dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy them also?”
“My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!” Key phrases: “girlfriends are neat dressers” and “dress is popular”.
“Well, if your girlfriends are neat dressers in a popular dress like you’re wearing then I’m going into the shower curtain clothing business…” I know, this is a lame example but the lessons are this.
- You start a conversation with however you want then pick out key words or phrases from what the person says.
- You repeat them in what you say then listen for new key words in there next response.
- You add a little something new into the conversation REPEATING there words you’re using as Key words or phrases. This tells them you’re listening, even though you’re turning things around to be c/f in this situation.
Once we learned to keep someone talking for 5 minutes, then 15 minutes the company actually hired total strangers from a job soliciting company to come and be our subjects. While being videotaped we had to get the person talking and keep them talking for 30 minutes.
One important note: If a person brings up something personal or whatever, they wouldn’t have mentioned it if they didn’t want to talk about it. These are great to Key in on. My subject mentioned she was going through a divorce and her ex husband was a total jerk. I keyed in on this and it’s amazing what a total stranger will tell you once you build a little rapport.
When watching the video you pick up on mistakes or you see something different you could have said. You also pick up on Key words and phases you missed. It just takes a little practice. This is just one example of how you can start a conversation and keep it going.
Hopefully it can be of help to you’re readers.
JTM, Texas
MY COMMENTS :
Awesome.
This is an EXCELLENT description of how to keep a conversation going, keep it interesting and unpredictable, and talk about ANYTHING and have it be fun.
Read it again.
Now let me sprinkle a little magic dust on this, and tell you how I use this technique personally.
When I’m having a conversation with a woman, I’m not just listening for ANY key word… I’m listening for a particular KIND of key word (or words).
I’m always on the alert for any words or phrases that can be twisted, turned around, misinterpreted, and misconstrued (is that a word?) in one of a few particular ways…
…namely in a way that says she stupid, ditzy, sexually crazed, or acting suspicious.
For instance, in your example above you suggested the following :
“That’s an unusual looking dress you’re wearing. Was that made out of a shower curtain?” She says,” Your mean! No, I bought this from the Old Navy store.” Key Words: Old Navy. “Oh, so you’re in the Navy, huh?” “No silly. You know, the big store over at the Mall.” Key word: Mall. “Oh, so you like going to the Mall and buying strange looking dresses do you? Do your girlfriends buy them also?” “My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!” Key phrases: “girlfriends are neat dressers” and “dress is popular”. “Well, if your girlfriends are neat dressers in a popular dress like you’re wearing then I’m going into the shower curtain clothing business…”
Good. Nice one.
Now, let’s dial it up a little bit…
She says “No, I bought this from the Old Navy store…”
Instead of just keying into “Navy” and saying “Oh, so you’re in the navy, huh?”, why not take it to the next step and actually MAKE FUN of her.
“Oh, so is this what guys used to wear in the Navy a long time ago… in the OLD Navy?”
Now you’re BUSTING on her as well, AND it’s funny.
She says “No silly. you know, the big store over at the Mall.”
You might try “What kind of MALL are YOU shopping at? And do your girlfriends buy dresses like that one too?”
Again, you’re hinting that she has funky taste and she shops in weird places.
She says “My girlfriends are neat dressers and my dress is very popular I’ll have you know!”
You could go with “Oh, you have girlfriends? You have more than one? Do they all know that you think of them as a girlfriend? Or is one of them the special one? By the way, if you have cute girlfriends, then I think you and I are going to get along VERY well.”
…are you with me here ?
What I’m doing is NOT ONLY looking for key words to latch onto, but I’m ALSO looking for ways to spin them to make fun, tease, and subtly suggest various kinds of “racy” topics.
When done in a funny way, it’s magic.
Once upon a time, a guy I know very well went into a nightclub.
He was talking to a girl at that club for awhile, when she said “Well, I’m getting tired. I think it’s time for me to go home.”
The guy answered “Go HOME?! I just met you. I’m not going HOME with you !”
She said “No, I mean I’M going home. I’m tired.”
He shot back “Maybe you don’t hear me. I’m not going home with you, so don’t even ask anymore.”
She said “No, that’s not what I’m saying…”
He replied “And besides, I’m sure my place is nicer than yours… so if anything, you’re coming home with ME.”
This went on and on for about an hour or so.
And you guessed it, she went home with him.
I saw it happen with my own two eyes.
Another off-the-wall (but pretty funny) example of this is a story that a good friend of mine told me about one of his friends.
His friend was talking to a girl at a club, and she was talking about what kinds of things she enjoyed doing with her spare time.
She said “…I like to go clubbing…”
He came back with “Oh, like baby seals?”
lol… Now, that might not get a girl to come home with you, but it’s damn funny. Love it.
This technique is GREAT for keeping a conversation fresh, fun, unpredictable, and FUNNY (if you know how to do it just right).
Use it.
I’ll talk to you again soon !
Contribution by :
David DeAngelo
A very successful book author for Double Your Dating and speaker.
