Let’s say you see a very attractive woman at a restaurant waiting for her friends. Using our techniques, you approach her, attract her, and then get her phone number so you can “go out sometime”.
At that moment, she genuinely would “go out” with you “sometime” but it doesn’t always turn out that way.
Going out “sometime” is different from going out Thursday night (which is why, as we’ve discussed in Magic Bullets and in our interview download on phone game, this is a bad way to get a woman’s phone number). To see her “sometime” all you have to do is be more interesting than doing nothing. That’s a pretty low standard. She can agree to that. And, if she has nothing else to do, she might actually see you. However, most desirable women rarely have “nothing else to do”.
For her to go on a date, you need to be more interesting than anything else she could be doing, like friends, hobbies, work, or relaxing at home. Or any other man she met that night – if you noticed her, other men did too. She likes all of the attention and flirting, but she doesn’t have time to go on 9 dates this week.
Even if she did, many desirable women would still hesitate to answer your call, even if she was attracted to you when you first met. There are many possible reasons for this – some will apply to some women and some situations more than others:
Safety concerns.
Especially if she doesn’t know you that well or you don’t know people in common.
Fear of social awkwardness.
If she doesn’t know you that well, she may wonder if the two of you will really “click”. Even if she has no reason to think that you wouldn’t, not being sure can be enough for some women to avoid a date that might be awkward or uncomfortable.
Analysis.
Why are you asking her out if you didn’t meet for very long? Are you desperate? Are you a player?
Timing.
You don’t know what mood she’ll be in when you call or what she’ll be doing. After meeting you just one time, her commitment to seeing you again can be pretty fragile, and if you don’t get a hold of each other soon, memories and emotions dissipate. You lose value and emotional momentum (both of these concepts are explained in Magic Bullets but should be understandable in context) with every unreturned voicemail.
Naturally, the best way to deal with this is to make as strong an impression as possible in your first meeting. Most of what we teach on our bootcamps revolves around this, in order to lead to a more intimate situation the same day or to a date that won’t fall through (depending on the situation and your preferences).
But sometimes you can’t do this – like in the above example when her friends are about to arrive and take her to dinner. So that’s why we created the “bridging” technique – to get from a situation where a woman might have a low commitment to meeting up again to where the two of you are on a date.
The lower her commitment, the more important these bridging techniques. If instead of meeting this woman at a restaurant, you’d been introduced to her by a mutual friend, and spent a few sober hours really getting to know each other, asking each other every question under the sun, spending time alone, kissing, and making plans to see each other, she would likely be highly-committed to seeing you again.
In such situations, you can usually just go ahead and call. However, we will often still use bridging techniques because A) sometimes we might err and think a woman is more committed or less flaky than she turns out to be B) they won’t hurt.
Some of these techniques may seem like overkill. Often they are unnecessary, since with good game, you can get most women to answer the phone and make plans. However, they are important for a couple of reasons.
If you meet someone you really want, it can be worth doing the work to increase your odds for “likely” to “near certain”. Second, many of us got involved in dating science because we wanted to date women who would normally be “out of our league”. None of us are rich, or supermodels.
Almost all of our instructors are formerly bootcamp students. So, what might be overkill when meeting the type of woman who might be attracted to you anyway can be crucially important when meeting a stunning, intelligent, fun, and sexy woman who attracts powerful and successful men wherever she goes.
