I want to explain something called pacing. If you learn to pace, you can develop an opener for ANY walk-up situation you can think of.
In pacing, you comment on whatever you see them doing or comment on the situation. For instance, if a woman is reading a book in the bookstore, the only way to meet her is to INTERRUPT her. However, interrupting someone reading a book for no reason is normally rude – so what you do is pace your interruption by saying, “Excuse me… I know you’re reading a books and I’m interrupting you… but I just want to tell you that you have a very nice energy about you.”
This puts her at ease and works miracles. Imagine if you just said out of the blue interrupting her, “Miss! You have a very nice energy about you.” You’re not giving her enough time to process insider her mind what is going on.
Here are some examples of using pacing in approaching women.
She’s alone walking in the street: “Excuse me, forgive my interruption… I know that you’re walking alone in the street, and we obviously don’t know each other, and I have to get going as well… but you had such an inviting energy about you, that I had to stop you compliment you about it… my name’s Jack.” From here you can test if she would like to meet you over coffee, tea, whatever.
She’s with a friend and walking in the street: “Pardon me miss, I know that you’re with your friend and obviously we don’t know each other yet… and I hate to put you on the spot in front of your friend… but you had such an inviting energy about you, that I had to stop you compliment you about it… my name’s Jack.” From here, you can once again test if she would like to meet you over coffee or tea.
She’s alone at a bar: “Excuse me, forgive my interruption… but I noticed you here sitting at the bar and you struck me as being a person who likes to have fun and would enjoy an interesting conversation… my name’s Jack.” From here, see how she reacts to you.
She’s with a group of girl friends at a bar: “Excuse me, forgive my interruption…but I noticed you here sitting at the bar with your friends and you struck me as being a person who likes to have fun and would enjoy an interesting conversation… my name’s Jack.”
She’s at the grocery store: Notice something interesting about her to pace. I noticed one women picking out some canned corn had an ankle tattoo. I said, “Excuse me… but I couldn’t help noticing your tattoo… what made you get the courage to place it on such a tender place?” She immediately opened up and started talking to me, because I asked her about something having to do with her, it was non-sexual, and I said it in a very relaxed, laid back way.
She’s at the bookstore: There was a woman browsing through some books, obviously engrossed in the activity. I paced her activity with, “So what are you looking for?”
In each of the above examples, you’re using the given situation you find yourself in as the opener! And she can’t resist or fight the things you say, as they’re true. If she reacts politely (95% of the time they will), ask her an open-ended question about herself that gets her to open up. In the case she reacts rudely (5% of the time it will happen), she just weeded herself out from enjoying YOU as an opportunity to expand her world of great relationships. Don’t take it personally; move on. She may have had a bad day.
And don’t worry about making “rookie mistakes”… you need to make “mistakes” to learn anything really worth learning!
Derek Vitalio
Learn the Science of Seduction
