It’s Time to Get Moving With Women
30 Jan 2002
Question and Answer with relationship expert Dr Dennis
Dear Doctor:
I’ve put off going
after girls for years. I was shy, and I never had the courage to
take the next step: dating. There was a good dozen or so times in
high school when I could have done something, but I choked. I think
I was afraid of the commitment, and I made all kinds of
excuses.
Now, I’m 21 and I feel like it’s really time
to start doing something about girls. I’ve tried to change my
attitude, and get over my shyness with some success. My only
obstacle is connecting with some girls. I thought that it would be
good to go out with my buddies to do some prowling, but most of my
friends have stereotyped me as a prude, so they aren’t interested in
helping. I’m slowly changing that too. Plus, they think I’m too much
of an amateur.
Recently, I started playing squash with
a new buddy. He’s in the same boat as me, so I feel like we have
something in common that we can work together on. We’ve both agreed
that we need to start building a network of girls, but we don’t know
where to find these girls. Maybe are standards are too high? We
thought that we could go cruising and check out different kinds of
places like dinners and bars to start off. Comments?
P.
S. Your site has been an awesome
help.
Hello!
Thanks for the comments on our site – we are
very proud of it and are working on a bunch of updates that should
be posted sometime in the next month or so.
My first
suggestion is that you need some tools to get started. It’s kind of
like trying to build a house. So you and your buddy show up on the
property one day and decide you probably need some wood – so you go
gather a bunch of it. Then, you figure it’s got to go up somehow and
you start stacking it. Of course, the wood doesn’t fit together, and
you don’t have anything to hold it up, so it falls. Now, you’ve
wasted an entire day with nothing to show for
it.
Dating is like this. You need tools, ideas and
techniques to make things happen. Consider this: women are
relationship experts – much more than we men are. Would you jump in
the ring with Mike Tyson without one hell of a lot of preparation?
I’d hope not! Thus, you want to be prepared when you meet women too
– otherwise, they’ll just blow you out of the
water!
One of the best things you can do to learn these
tools is to read my book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”, (sorry
for the sales pitch, but it really IS the best place to start!)
Here, you’ll get some of the best ways to meet women, what to say to
them, how to get home phone numbers, how to set dates, how to manage
your time – especially when dating 2 or more women at a time, how to
structure a relationship, and most important, how to know what
you’re looking for in the first place. You can get the book from our
website, or you can also get it from your local
bookstores.
Regarding where to find women – EVERYWHERE!
Believe me, they don’t keep beautiful, single women in only one part
of town. They are any- and everywhere. So, rather of thinking you
need to go somewhere to meet them, have your tools in your back
pocket first. Then, when you DO meet them – wherever you are –
you’re ready to get things started.
Lastly, regarding
you and your friend working together – it is a great idea. Once you
both know what you’re looking for in women, you can begin working
together to find them. You do this by switching off. One night your
friend will help you to meet someone, the next night; you will help
him, etc.
To do this, find a pair of women (they
usually travel in two’s, three’s and more’s) where at least one fits
your (or your buddy’s) “profile”. Then, your friend helps you
separate the girl’s friend(s) from her so that you can move in and
use your new tools. It doesn’t matter if the friend is attractive or
not. If she and your buddy hook up – great, if not, he just “takes
one for the team”, even getting her number if he can (for practice),
while you move in and get the target’s number. Then, the next night
you switch off. Works great!
Good luck, much
love…
