Hello,
What would your advice be for a shy guy who used to be really ugly but is now not ugly and has plenty of women attracted to him but they never talk to him? How in the name of Oprah Winfrey’s ass do I start a conversation with a woman I don’t even know???
OK, you realize that I’ve chosen your email to be included here is because you’ve mentioned Oprah’s ass… which is a funny thing to talk about.
Why, I have no idea… but it is.
As far as starting conversations with women, here are a few ideas for you…
First of all, you must realize that your body language is more important than the words you use. Wherever you are, and whatever the situation, you MUST remember that your composure and body language are the keys.
I’ve watched a lot of guys approach a LOT of women in my day. And I can usually tell within the first few SECONDS if the guy knows what he’s doing with women… and if he’s going to be successful.
Most guys use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones… they almost look as if they’re pleading with a woman to give them approval, and that they’re nervous and self conscious about the whole event.
In other words, most guys come across as WUSSIES when they first approach women.
On the other hand, the guys I know who are the most successful with women are the opposite.
They’re totally cool, calm, and collected. They often approach a woman and begin the conversation like they would with an old friend.
There is no apologetic body language, and there are no signs of insecurity.
They aren’t there to find out if the woman is going to give them some approval… on the contrary, they are trying to find out if the woman meets THEIR standards.
Think about how you’d act if you were only interested in finding out if she’s the kind of exceptional woman that you’re interested in getting to know better, instead of being concerned about whether or not she’s going to like you… big shift, isn’t it?
Now, here’s some homework for you:
Sit down and think carefully about the most common situations you find yourself in where you see women that you’d like to meet and talk to.
Think about what’s going on in their minds, where they’re going, what they’ve just done… and what they’re about to do. Think about how they’re probably feeling.
Now, come up with 10 different ways that you could start a conversation in this situation. Remember that YOU’RE the one who is trying to figure out if SHE is the kind of woman you’d like to get to know better.
Once you’ve come up with 10 good ones, pick your favorite, and mentally rehearse it.
I realize that I’m asking you to do some work here, but it’s sooooo worth it.
I’m going to give you one more hint…
Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters.
“Hi.”
“What are you drinking?”
“Hi, are you from around here?”
…I realize that these sound simple, and they are. But they’re so simple that they’re DISARMING. They don’t come across as canned “pick up lines”, and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you’re talking to is friendly.
And remember, relaxed body language is Key!
For more great specifics, along with my personal favorite conversation openers, check out my Double Your Dating program.
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