I was recently at a night club, where there happened to be many attractive ladies. I have a good sense of humor and can usually tell what type of person I am dealing with.
My problem is that I can never find a good way to approach a strange, attractive women and start a conversation.
Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.
A.M. Vancouver, B.C.
>>> MY Reply :
I’ve been getting LOADS of emails from guys wondering how they’re able to get passed all their fears, insecurities, doubts and ‘just do it’… walk up to a woman they’d like to know and just talk to her.
Well, the problem lies in the fact that most guys are AFRAID.
They’re scared that the woman might say “no”, walk off and everyone would just stand there and laugh at your face.
But if you’ve been approaching ENOUGH women (I’m talking about absolute strangers) off the bat, you’ll realize most of the time, NONE of what you’ve imagine will happen.
The truth of the matter is, I’ve rarely come across women who got upset or did anything rude as I’m talking to them for the first time.
Women are generally VERY friendly and talkative.
Trust me, just as long as you don’t give off any ‘creepy’ vibes, you’ll do just fine.
Fact is (and it took me a LONG time to realize this), most women are pretty ‘open’ to approaches by men.
Did you know that women are sometimes ‘secretly’ wishing you’d actually walk right up and talk to them? (yes, seriously).
When you’ve projected a FRIENDLY, sociable and FUN vibe the moment she sees you, often times she’d want YOU to talk to her and find out what you’re all about.
No kidding.
And I’m quite sure that even if you DID look like Bradd Pitt or Clooney, Cruise or whatever, as ‘interested’ as she is in you at that spur of the moment, she WON’T make the first move to talk to you.
Bottom line: Women STILL expect guys to do the work.
Even at this day and age.
The other thing I’ve learned is this…
At the very RARE instance she did turn ‘cold’ on me and refused to speak to me, it’s usually more a problem about HER and NOT me.
It’s either she’s not a friendly person, having a bad day, in a hurry or she’s just plain ‘taken’.
And like I said, these are EXTERNAL things which I CANNOT control therefore it’s not MY fault. What’s more important is for me to take charge of the things that I CAN control, in this case, my INTERNAL beliefs, mindset and actions.
That being said, even when rejections DO occur, why beat yourself up over it? Why even waste time feeling bad about it.
Let it sink in for a sec.
I’ve also seen guys who like to ‘hide’ their true intentions upfront when they first approach a woman.
They’ll want to be able to pick her up ‘without’ making it look like they’re picking her up…
I mean who are we kidding here?
Deep down, women in general will AUTOMATICALLY assume that you’re on to something the moment you first approached her, no matter what you say or do.
If you’re not interested in her, why did you even BOTHER talking to her at all?!!
And that’s why it’s absolutely CRUCIAL for you to be DIRECT about it at the very beginning, whilst tactfully ENGAGING her into a conversation with you…
Bring her into YOUR reality.
Not you into hers, get it?
See it’s totally OK for her to ASSUME you’re interested in her because once you’re already talking to her, you start to tease and bust her like CRAZY… make fun of her like you do to your bratty little sister, poke her, challenge her, etc. and THAT’S exactly how you ‘mess’ with her mind…
You can go… “eeww, what’s with the 80s retro earrings you have on there?”
OR
(If everyone’s talking except your target), look at her friend, and go… “hey, is your friend (pointing at her) ALWAYS like that?”
OR
(If she touches you), go “Gosh, you’re such a pervert?!! What’s wrong with you??”
This is all part of the push-pull technique which works WITHOUT fail whenever you’re gaming women.
[Note]: Do it in a JOKING fashion NOT arrogant <– BIG DIFFERENCE.
You’re supposed to use these with EXTREME caution. These lines are ONLY supposed to be used on women who are SUPER HOT. Women who are cold, and probably have a bit of air in their head thinking they can practically have any guy they want, these works EXTREMELY well on them to break down their icy barrier.
You say one thing, but you do another.
And she’ll be kept on her toes trying to figure you out, wondering what you’re trying to do with her…
You’ll confuse the hell out of her, which is perfect because it will subconsciously get her to want MORE…
[Side track]: Part of the reason why guys are having so much problems getting the girl they want is due to the fact that they’re LIMITED by their CHOICES of women they can pick and choose from.
If you are out of ideas, DOWNLOAD this free report called “The Best Places to Meet Women“
Most the time, the girls that are only accessible to them are WITHIN their own social circles and that’s it.
So my question to you is… are YOU having the SAME exact ‘problem’ right now?
Honestly, don’t YOU want to be able to see a girl you like, confidently walk up to her, set up a date and smoothly go ‘all the way’ with her?
Now if you’re DEAD SERIOUS in finding yourself ‘the one’… someone who has ALL the qualities of a ‘dream’ woman; drop dead gorgeous, funny, intelligent and drop dead gorgeous, and you’ve promised yourself from EVER settling for second-best types, the ONLY way for you to do it is to master the skill of approaching women.
When you’ve gotten this ‘down’ you’ll no longer have that miserable, depressing ‘what could have been’ thoughts when you see a woman you’d like to meet.
You’ll just go ahead and DO it.
… and do it WELL.
Again, ONLY if you’re serious at getting your dating and social life with women handled…
I STRONGLY urge you to sign up Approaching Women Tips newsletter here.
You’ll be glad you did =)
Talk to you soon.
David Kwan
